Today our podcast, The Yogi and The Hypnotist is live on all major podcast streaming platforms: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Audio.com, Podbean and Pocket Cast.
Our first episode, we dive into addictions and habits. We didn't actually intend to go that deeply personal right off the bat- but it's John and I and a mic so we should have known it would end up that way, haha.
We touch on addictions and habits like, smoking, alcohol, caffeine, phones, pornography, and negative thought spirals.
John shares about his sobriety and how you can choose sobriety in support of others even if you were never an addict. I share about mental thought spirals as a negative habit and some tools that I use to "cancel" negative thought streams with "reframing" towards the best possible perspective.
We have a whole module on preframing and reframing in our Reach My Zenith Course (reachmyzenith.com) and it is quite possibly one of my favorite tools for breaking negative thought patterns. This is an example that I use often with my clients to consider when worrying about what others will think about them. Scenario 1 preframe: I'm out for a drive with my windows down enjoying the sunshine, my favorite podcast playing and I'm in no hurry. I have my warm coffee with me and time to think as I drive. My mental state is relaxed and patient.
Scenario 2 preframe: I'm late for work, driving slightly over the speed limit as I turn out of my neighborhood and onto the main one lane road. I spilled my coffee down the front of my white shirt as I tried to juggle all the things in my hands to load up the car. The kids got off to school but the big guy missed his school bus and so I had to drive him, hence my lateness. My mental state is stressed and impatient.
Circumstance: the white sedan in front of me is going 35 in a 45.
Scenario 1: I don't even notice that the white sedan is going 35 because my mental state is relaxed and patient.
Scenario 2: "What is wrong with them? Why hasn't someone taken Grandma's license away by now? Really, who isn't in a hurry? Don't they know they are making me late???"because my mental state is stressed and impatient.
My thoughts there reflect more about MY mental state than the person who is driving in front of me. Let's flip that to understand why worrying about what others are thinking can be pointless: Other’s thoughts reflect more about THEIR mental state than me.
Understanding this can help me reframe my thought, "What if someone thinks ___________ about me?" to "I can only control my thoughts about myself, I can't control other's thoughts about me because they flow out of their mental state."
What about when I am triggered and thinking judgmental thoughts about others? I can take a look at MY mental state and ask myself the deep questions about where this is coming from and why it is triggering me.
What are your best successes at re-framing your negative thoughts from a different perspective?
What do you notice about your mental state when you are thinking judgmental thoughts?
And if you haven't already, give our new podcast a follow and we would love your feedback on our first episode: Addictions and Habits.
Warmly,
Jennifer Ferrante, CHt.
Ferrante Family Wellness
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