Today the kids have their first virtual Friday so I am late getting to sit down and type as the morning was filled with signing into student portals and making french toast. It is on days like these that I am very grateful for the flexible schedule that our work affords us, which I know is a privilege.
I have experienced seasons of life, when I was a single mom of 6, where mornings meant getting all the kids up and ready and to daycare by 4:45 to make it to my morning opening shift by 5:30 am. So, even during the occasional feeling of chaos this morning with four kids doing virtual school from home, I am offered perspective.
Reframing and broad perspective is one of the tools that I use most frequently in my own life and this tool is a part of NLP and Positive Psychology. Yesterday I had dental work done to get a temporary crown on my back, lower, right molar and the dentist informed me that this tooth was the hardest tooth to numb and would require extra medication including the gold shot which is painful but the "big guns".
Immediately I felt nervous as he added the comment, "Are you a natural readhead? Redheads are always harder to get numb."
If my dentist had gone through my training, "Hypnodontics for Medical Professionals" he would have used preframing, framing and reframing to instead say something like this,
"Now, as I administer your numbing medication, I'm going to get you comfortable for the duration of your visit. People usually notice a different sensation on your feet that lets us know it's beginning to work. So tune into your feet and let us know when you begin to feel that."
This pulls my attention far away from the area of the body where the medication is being delivered and tunes my awareness into my feet. Then as he was delivering the medication he could have said,
"You are in excellent hands, I'm known around here as Mr. Gentle, so while you may feel a slight pinch, I want you to pay attention to the expanding comfort as this medicine does it work and creates comfort all throughout your jaw."
After the medicine was delivered through multiple injections, he could reframe this experience by adding,
"Now we give a little time for the medicine to work its magic and spread calm throughout your mouth and jawline. Would you like to listen to a relaxing recording to help your whole body to feel calm while you wait?"
I did this last part myself as I brought my dental hypnosis recordings with me and listened to autogenic training while my local numbing medicine went to work.
Preframing, framing and reframing are powerful lenses to view our day through. It can make the difference between a great experience and a confusing or chaotic one.
What routines do you have in the morning to preframe your day?
In the evening to reframe it? My personal routine is to start my day with morning minutes to get an idea of what the day holds. Sometimes, this is formal sit down and bullet journal times. On busy mornings with school transport and extra duties, it may look like a quick run through of the day with John before we hop out of bed in the morning. This frames our day with expectations and a goal.
At the end of the day we like to meditate, read and reflect.
Practicing gratefulness at the end of the day with your family or partner or individually through journaling can reframe the day from a place of positivity and bring momentum into the next day.
This morning, as I am sitting down to my computer later (around noon) my preframe didn't quite line up with my expectation to begin at 11 but my reframe can be a powerful one that we spent our morning in quality time with the kids, saw all of their school work be completed and were able to get to work and still accomplish what is needed today while having the peace of mind that they got done what was important.
As we lead into a four day holiday weekend with Labor Day on Monday, I wish you a relaxing break with family and loved ones and will be back at this Tuesday next week. Our office will be closed for the holiday Monday but will reopen Tuesday and we look forward to seeing you.
Warmly, Jennifer Ferrante, CHt.
Ferrante Family Wellness
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